What Racing Thought Are Like - A Video (glad I've never suffered from them)

I've never experienced anything like this that's for damn sure. Like anyone else, I occasionally have a song stuck in my head or something or have a tendency to perseverate sometimes. While it's a fact that do find myself fielding an overwhelming number of thoughts on rare occasion, I'm pretty damn sure just about everyone does. Information overload. Everybody's head spins from time to time. Not as a matter of course though now, especially for someone with an inquisitive mind. An active mind with a vivid imagination. What's wrong with that? And who decides how many and how fast one's thoughts are "supposed" to go or be or go fuck yourself with your WNL - Within Normal Limits bullshit, yeah, We Never Looked is more like it. So that accounts for one symptom, or criterion. Be it known by all, by the way, that notwithstanding the fact that the original Diagnostic and Statistics Manual (DSM) only listed 7 mental conditions, disorders, or illnesses depending on the contextual framework. The DSM-V, which is the most current (probably Revised is but...), lists over 700! Seriously? Come on now, that's absurd and in fact, that shit earns its' own commemorative fucking vodka for god's sake, fuck man, how about Absolut Absurd? Bottoms up motherfuckers. Shit, now just about everybody would meet the criteria in that fucking book and just imagine the cash cow now for Big Pharma and for the Machinations of Psychiatrists man alive, that's a much larger potential patient pool huh? Just have to get em into the office. Too bad they can't fucking advertise like lawyers can oh man that'd be the end of it for sure. It's already the end of life for the American Republic, especially if Trump is re-selected in 2024. Finally, I'd just like to be on record that anyone who votes for any President that confines children to cages should have their noggin examined cuz that aint right. It's beyond wrong and it's worthy of fucking life on the god damn chain gang are you people on dope? Seriously, WTF? Lemme fucking guess, it's all part of God's plan I suppose huh? shut the fuck up, that's horseshit. And I suppose I need to go to meetings or fucking church or some shit so I can learn the Serenity prayer, which will endow me with the courage to accept the fact that I cannot change the situation involving children in cages. How perverse is that? Or is it the wisdom to change the whatchamacallit man what a crock of shit. Oh, the serenity to accept ahhhh you get the point. Maybe I should start a neighborhood Ouija Board club and invite all the Catholics that believe using one is tantamount to the Ultimate Sin or Satanism or some other folk tale type nonosnse. I'm getting long winded and like a car engine that keeps running after you uhhh yeah, that. 

My shrink has advised me to forgo the single 12 ounce can of Coke, as in Coca-Cola because to some all pop, or soda or even soda-pop but anyway, my point is his rationale revolves around a belief that the amount of caffeine in one can of pop (~50mg) could possibly trigger a hypomanic or manic state. Episode is the term often used. That's fucking laughable on the face of it. Over 400mg in a day will wire anyone up for sound for sure but then there's the caffeine crash. Here's a chart to illustrate how ludicrous it is that one can of fucking pop is gonna send this writer off on a 6 month out of control manic episode requiring hospitalization or hella upping medications fuck man call the judge we gotta fucking do something he can't be allowed to be like this he's way too hyper he's not normal. He's doing too much and all I have to do is say I'm afraid of him. I mean, he's treatment noncompliant by not blindly following the instructions of his shrink and other health care providers and he loses his shoes and gives away cell phones to poverty stricken single black mothers at the homeless shelter. Last night he broke an umbrella and put plastic whiffle type golf balls in his sister's litter box and punched an old piece of shit gas grill with rusted out grates. He leaves the gas grill on so he can light his cigarettes as he has no money for a lighter. Hell, the last time two of my own family members had my person seized by the local Sheriff, the deputy didn't bother putting cuffs on and when we got to the VA Emergency Room, he said, "here's all the legal paperwork, Al, it's gonna piss you off but here it is anyway." Huh. Yeah, that's right, just huh! Maybe an "I'll be god damned" just because of the significance of such a statement. And an explanation certainly should not be necessary on this, please say no. Pretty pwease with sugar on top? Hell, a 5 year old would be all over that shit, I bet you fitty bucks. So, let's press on...

Here's a home based mug shot of the fucker that wrongfully, in some kyna paranoid state of mind, wrongfully accused me of compromising Top Secret Cryptographic Keying Material which involved Critical Nuclear Weapon design Information (CNWDI) and was secured as Sensitive Compartmented Information (SCI), thus mandating the use of a 2-Lock, Two Person Integrity (TPI) certified containier so as no lone access to such highly classified and sensitive material could occur. Long story short, this co-worker in the Secure Communications Node in the basement bowels of SAC HQ, now STRATCOM, at Offutt AFB, Nebraska for some reason got it programmed into his brain that I was somehow still able to access the Keytapes and was likely selling them to a third party, i.e. a foreign agent of an adversary maybe even the Soviets. The Commander actually fucking bought into this freaky far out fantasy of the fat fucking nearing mandatory retirement due to high year of tenure for an E-5 of 20 years. Flat broke trying to find God or some shit with 3 minor children and a wife so 5 mouths to feed and nothing to fall back on. He later got divorced and I hear his kids have disowned the prick. Go figure. Yeah, that found me with a suspended Top Secret security clearance, opening of an Unfavorable Information File (UIF), placement on the Control Roster (CR) and relegated to shit fucking detail like tape room attendant or Assistant Dormitory Manager while an investigation was begun. Well, that took about a year and due to the extreme stress, my wife returned to England with our two young children and we had to sell the house we just bought cuz I had to move back into base housing. So that was the end of my family as we divorced in 1997 after 10 years of marriage. The situation resolved itself possibly due to the staggering realization that there were never two locks installed due to manning shortfalls and we all used an unauthorized short cut when destroying (shredding) outdated material every month. Everything was just dropped and rolled back and I was put back into my normal work center as if well, I'll say this, and that is I asked a MSgt Horace Bethea what ever happened with the OSI investigation, which is the Office of Special Investigations or as most know the Navy edition of it is the NCIS just for reference. Serious shit. "Nothing ever happened with it so don't ever mention it again." Right! Gotcha! Shortly thereafter I was transferred to another base and cross-trained into the Flight Engineer career field which is the best job an enlisted man can have, bar none and just like that I was in SERE school, then Basic Flight Engineering Technical School which had a 90% washout rate. I was already a Commercial Pilot and Instrument Flight Instructor so that helped me garner the Distinguished Graduate Award as I earned my Wings. Then it was ground and simulator training followed by a period of line flying training with the Training Squadron until becoming Mission Ready (MR) and going off to war numerous times over in the Persian Gulf and much more cool ass experience man that was a special time in my life. Proud to have served and would do it all over in a heartbeat. I separated with an Honorable discharge in 1998 and took a job as a Check Instructor (Pilot Examiner/Evaluator) at the Comair Aviation Academy in Florida owned by Delta Airlines but shortly thereafter moved on to become a Group Leader and SwissAir Line Instructor at the Berkshire-Hathaway wholly owned subsidiary, FlightSafety Academy in sunny Vero Beach, Florida. More on my aviation career in another post as it's time to close this one out due to time constraints. 

Annnnd here are the symptoms of yet another mental "illness" that has never even been proven up on by any science at all. Zero. It's all just a bunch of guesswork. Seriously, the chemical imbalance theory has been disproven which makes sense because the way it goes is you supposedly suffer from a so called chemical imbalance in your brain. In the synaptic gap or synapse. So to correct this imbalance to get your brain to function within normal limits (yeah but who's idea of normal), you have to take a medication to alter that chemistry. Problem with that is everyone starts of a dosage that is the same, then its invariably increased. That doesn't make one iota of sense. And psychoses are simply ways in which one experiences reality, according to a shrink surnamed Jenner and a member of the Royal Psychiatric Society or whatever the name of it is. The guesswork and inaccuracies inherent in the VA Machinery, for example, are illuminated well in my case but that's outside the scope of this snippet of sorts. 

So professional looking and formal too....

Well, I'm not suffering from bipolar depression and Latuda has been prescribed by my VA shrink at the dosage of 40mg daily in monotherapy since may 9th, 2023 which is waaaay more than 6 weeks man. More like 10 fucking months. Read the highlighted areas below and it'll become crystal clear bam! In your face fools, as for mania associated with bipolar disorder the efficacy of Latuda has not been established and I'm not manic anyway and to be honest with you, I barely have the energy to sit down and get out of breath just laying down so Im about that sure and beyond that im not gonna be acting like a maniac or madman anytime soon. And it's beyond ridiculous to assert the need for me to take medication for something i dont have and for which the medication I am now prescribed is not for that condition anyway and so the only thing left is to to be told that i need to take medication to prevent something from occurring in the future which is entirely unlikey whaat the fuck man i guess im suposed to be treatment compliant even on my fucking death bed eh? Or on dialysis? Get over your bad shrink self or whoever thinks i need to be on psych pills fucking leave me the fuck alone. Hell, the reality is anyway that the only people who believe Im still on Latuda are VA providers including my shrink himself. So what? They know nothing of my life at all so they can fuck off. Moral of the story is you gotta own your own health care and don't let the medical establishment treat you like you are their bitch. Just like being prescribed a PPI with bad kidneys and those fucking things are not intended for long term use anyway and can lead to bad juju like cancer and what the fuck I have 90% less stomach issues than when I was on Omeprazole so that's that Doctor, you don't own my body I do and I don't fucking care one bit if I'm considered treatment non-compliant. So? Bye.